My Friend Jean

I’m writing out a few stories of the transformative moments around my journey at NeighborLink as a way to reflect, document, and share how NL has been such an integral part of life for me. I end my time as Executive Director on January 29th, 2021 after 13 years.

I met Jean for the first time in the fall of 2006 after I had been doing a number of NL projects and increasing my courage to take on more complex and bigger projects. Based on her post on the NL website, she needed to have her 1.5-story house painted, which I thought sounded like the perfect project for me to take on next. I had some experience painting, my community of friends who were up for serving was growing, and I had been making some money in advertising that I knew I could cover the cost of the paint supplies to do it.

I showed up to meet Jean and scope the project after calling and talking to her on the phone. Within 15 minutes of standing on her front step, I was overwhelmed by her story and the seemingly impossible list of code violations (which I had no idea what those were and how they worked at the time) that she had to have solved within weeks from that day. I remember standing there thinking that all these repairs she needs to be done are beyond me and what I can contribute financially and that it would be ok if I walked away because the project was too big. But, I felt convicted to stay the course, do what I knew I could do, and pray for a solution to the other needs.

Jean had some health issues of her own and her son at the time had a liver transplant 2 years before I met them and was still suffering with the side effects of that major surgery. They both worked up to the point of the surgery, lived in the house and maintained it for years, and lived in a perfectly good neighborhood where life seemed to be manageable for everyone around them.

Michelle and I (we weren't even dating at that time, which will be the story for tomorrow) began forming a plan, getting materials, and convincing our community to show up and help. We set a date, had 20 people show up, and got 70% of the house painted in one day. Like any volunteer project like this, they start with lots of people and energy, but around noon people start going about the rest of their Saturday. As the afternoon winds down, you're left with just a few remaining people and an incomplete project wondering what's next.

NL projects took on a whole new meaning at this point. I had begun befriending Jean and her son, Todd because planning a project like this takes time and coordination. It also required me to prioritize nights after work and additional weekends of going back to finish the painting and fulfill the commitment I made. It also provided me the opportunity to wrestle with the tension of all those CODE Violation projects yet to be addressed and to come up with a solution, which was to fundraise $600 to cover the material costs since a contractor had been willing to help her fix the issues for just the cost of materials.

I finished the house painting project at the end of the Fall and Michelle started dating. We decided that taking a food basket on Thanksgiving would be nice, and it was. Then Christmas, we showed up and learned that Todd has a complication and passed away just a couple of days prior. Heartbroken, we didn't really know what to do other than to keep checking in on Jean, which we did for the following year along with mowing grass and other chores.

We spent years serving and helping Jean and learned far more lessons than I can write in this post. It wasn't always easy and we fell out of touch as we started having kids, got busier with life, Jean's family and neighbors started helping out a lot (which was great), and Jean's health declined. I lost touch with Jean and failed to follow up with her for well over a year when Michelle would ask me if I had. Jean passed away a year or so ago and I missed my opportunity to keep that relationship going.

My relationship with Jean really illustrated what neighbor-to-neighbor expressions of God's love really meant, because I got as much out of the relationship as I hope I offered.

The Beginning

I’m writing out a few stories of the transformative moments around my journey at NeighborLink as a way to reflect, document, and share how NL has been such an integral part of life for me. I end my time as Executive Director on January 29th, 2021 after 13 years.

Today marks the beginning of my final week as Executive Director at NeighborLink Fort Wayne after 13 years of having the privilege of stewarding this organization. I'm going to share a few key moments from along the journey each day as a testament to how great of a journey is has been. If you missed that news, you can read it here. https://www.nlfw.org/blog/entry/339

I actually got involved with NL as a volunteer several years before becoming the director through the launching of Fellowship Missionary Church GO Day initiative. I still remember that first GO Day ever and joining a team of volunteers to mow several yards for neighbors on the SE Side of FW. What started as just showing up to volunteer projects led to leading individual projects I would select off the NL website to eventually co-leading the monthly operations of GO Days that would see 50-200 volunteers each month go out into the community. Just showing up led to taking responsibility which led to eventually becoming the director.

This picture represents how a group of young 20-year-olds chose to serve as a point of connection with one another. Everyone in this picture is still a dear friend to Michelle and me, I have no doubt that it was because of our commitment to grow together through serving and learning about the Lord.

Plus, my main man Jeff Shatto is right in the middle. He and I have more stories about NL projects than I have with anyone else. We did a TON of moving projects with this moving van and each one has a story worth telling that includes random experiences and how we've grown together and through NL. This bond is forever cemented because of our love of serving together.

I wasn't the director at this point, but it was in these projects we did that I began to be challenged by what I was seeing, what stories I was being told about the vulnerabilities of life, and how sometimes what you have to offer is more than enough and sometimes what you have to offer doesn't even begin to make a difference. This project was moving someone that was being evicted and needed immediate help. We moved their stuff this evening and then again a few weeks later once they landed in a new place.

This ultimately is a testament that your community of friends can do transformative things together, even if it is you that transforms because of it. And, if you stick with something long enough and are open to the learning experiences, it may lead you to the places that you ultimately want to go if you're open to it.

This picture is proof that any successes I've had at NL is because of a whole lot of other people who have joined me when I've asked them to, and when they've led and I followed.

Lost In Life

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been on the personal blog/website, but rest assured, life has been happening. Simply t0o busy to share it. NeighborLink has exploded in terms of staff, growth, and the number of giant projects I’ve got myself into. Our kids are growing like weeds and just finished kindergarten and 3rd grade today. Everyone is busy, including me, but rather than just using busy as a term to describe a state of life, I’m learning to be more descriptive rather than just saying “I’m busy.” So, I’m learning to say something else that attempts to illustrate what “busy” is producing in my life.

I’m going to try to pick up the blogging and content production on this site in the coming weeks. I’m in a season of personal and professional growth and being asked to share more and more about what I’m learning in a variety of circles and platforms. Because of the increased interest, I’m going to attempt to share some of what I’m being asked here. It’ll be more of me processing out loud rather than trying to be an expert on the subject. I did this a lot when I first started at NL and I think it’s about time to pick it back up.

Until then, here are a few shots of my kids on their last day of school. Love these kiddos.

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31 Days of Gratitude Reflections

I suppose there should be some reflections on this exercise of sharing what I'm most thankful for, and there are a few thoughts. More to come I'm sure, but here are a few things that stand out to me as I complete this journal of sorts. 

• In a season where I've been struggling to understand what may be next and sensing many barriers in my way that seem to be beyond my ability to overcome, it was important to reflect on everything, and specifically everyone, that is for me and with me in this journey of professional and personal life. 31 days of thinking about all the really great things and the people that make life good is renewing to my spirit and gives me confidence that I'm in good company. 
• I know some really incredible people and I can see specific ways each of them work on improving my character through the traits I most admire them for. I've got many mental notes on how the people I'm around make me a better person and that's an incredible feeling. 
• Some of the common traits of those on this list seemed to be: kind, generous, gracious, intentional, and welcoming. I need to reflect more on what that says about me or them, but I've glad the list of people I'm most grateful for in 2015 had those traits.  
• We need tell more people what we like about them and how they impact our lives for the better. We need focus on the positive characteristics of those we love the most and they need to hear it. Too often we hear what we suck at, how we're failing, and wrestle with all the internal battles of knowing what we want to make different about ourselves. That's exhausting and once in a while, we need to be lifted up and say we're just fine the way we are, or that we're really great at something. I sense we don't tell those we love that we love them and specifically what we love about them. 
• The diversity of the community I highlighted as it relates to the different ways I know these folks in these 31 days is encouraging to me. I consider it a privilege to get to know so many wonderful people with a variety of backgrounds, interests, perspectives on faith and service, and ages. It could always be more diverse, but I'm pretty grateful for how it is today. 
• I need to do more of this in 2016. It felt vulnerable to write public and specific notes to friends and family, but it felt right to do it publicly. I didn't promote each post nor did I do this for any professional gain, but as a public statement to share appreciation for others. I think equally important. For me, I'm not the most outgoing person and I many things I'd like to tell folks but am not great at telling them. So, I write notes and emails, and now this series of blogs. Just another way of stretching myself as a leader and a friend. 

Whether you are good at telling people what you're grateful for or not, give it a shot. Send a note, email, or better yet, a phone call or conversation over coffee. They need to hear it and you likely need to share it. 

Day 31 of Gratitude - David Park

31 Days of Gratitude - In an attempt to publicly express my gratitude for the people that have impacted me in some way in 2015, I'm setting out to write one post a day sharing what I appreciate about them or what moment that marked me. Some of these people I know well, some I've only met, and some I'm just getting to know. There is no ranking to these posts and they aren't meant to put anyone on a pedestal. They, like you and I, are imperfect people with their own flaws, some you may have experienced. Despite those flaws, I believe we all need to have our positive characteristics called into light and celebrated. This is that attempt. 

David Park is a such a great guy and I'm grateful to have gotten to spend time with him in 2015. David and I met a few years back through a mutual friend on a 30ish mile bike ride. David and his wife just had gotten some bikes then and David quickly fell deeply in love with cycling. Since then, he's gone all in and has become quite the bike racer and an asset to the Team NL squad. David and I always enjoy getting together to talk about bikes, racing, and cool things we could do with cycling through Team NL. More than that, we connect on many other levels beyond cycling, which I'm most grateful. 

We share a deep faith that our lives are meant for something bigger than ourselves and that we have a responsibility to do something meaningful with them. David is a such a caring guy and it plays out through his profession as a fire-firefighter as well as in every interaction I've seen him have with anyone when we're together. He's always engaging beyond a simple hello and is kind to everyone I've ever seen him talk to. He's generous with his knowledge and experiences while wanting to learn from those around him. 

I'm grateful for our growing friendship on and off the bike, David. You encourage me in many ways and I look forward to spending more time with you in 2016. Lets do some long rides together this year!